what a day

i was useless today - started watching the michael jackson memorial coverage on CNN (the only news channel i watch, except MSNBC once in a while) regardless of how anyone feels about MJ or his music or his personal life, he was a decent human being (personally, i think he was only guilty of poor judgement from time to time) and i thought the service was lovely and was apropos for all concerned, although (funny story) halfway thru the program, a brief but fierce thunderstorm hit our area and knocked down a power line so i called a friend and fellow MJ fan who lives in rhode island and she plunked her phone down in front of her TV and i had to listen to the rest of it (like when people used to gather 'round the radio back in the 30s and 40s) on my cell phone!! of course, they practically showed the entire show (highlights, they call 'em) again in the post-show coverage, so i got to see and hear most of the things i missed... anyway, i'm still very sad and very moved by this outpouring of emotion for a man who has been vilified by the media over the past two decades, and i cried until my head ached and my eyes burned... these things affect me so intensely, like when heath ledger died, and river phoenix, and john belushi... and of course john lennon -

but let's see, now it's getting light outside, birds are singing away, cats are jumping and running around like crazy critters... and i have to find a job - no money, i need to get something to happen

like zoey says in "Serenity" - "Talkin' ain't doin' - " and then she says something in Chinese... (sorry, that's sort of a random movie quote)

what i really want to do is write something, or rewrite something - i have to show my stories to someone and get some constructive criticism... enter some writing contests, go to a writer's conference, get some feedback, start sending out my clips & rez to some magazines, something!

and start sorting thru all the clutter - i think that's what's holding me back - too much stuff - yeah, gotta clear some things up and out - ok, so might as well stay up and do some of those things! what image shall i leave you with today? how about this one?

may the force be with you/photo by tjgoogins/2009/all rights reserved