A Breath of Seasons

I dreamed I was a summer breeze


That started back in spring


I blew through autumn's leafy heaps

'Til winter's winds did sing


A song that made me shiver


A tune that made me cry

A melody that chilled my soul


'Til I breathed a summer sigh 


TJBG ~ 2014

Traveler's Tale

I am moving through the weeds

and reeds,

brushing past them on a mission 

to find out who I am...

I will know the truth

by finding my own reflection

in the water...

I know it's there,

but I need to see for myself

if I am still me

before I decide where to go next

Happy Hallowe'en

Samhain (pronounced /ˈsɑːwɪn/ sah-win or /ˈsaʊ.ɪn/ sow-in; Irish pronunciation: [sˠaunʲ]) is a Gaelic festival marking the end of the harvest season and the beginning of winter or the "darker half" of the year. It is celebrated from sunset on 31 October to sunset on 1 November, or about halfway between the autumn equinox and the winter solstice. It is one of the four Gaelic seasonal festivals, along with Imbolc, Beltane and Lughnasadh. Historically, it was widely observed throughout Ireland, Scotland and the Isle of Man. 

Irish mythology was originally a spoken tradition, but the tales were eventually written down by Christian monks in the Middle Ages, who are thought to have Christianized many of them. According to Irish mythology, Samhain (like Beltane) was a time when the doorways to the Otherworld opened, allowing spirits to come into our world; but while Beltane was a summer festival for the living, Samhain was essentially a festival for the dead.

Samhain was seen as a liminal time, when spirits or fairies (the aos sí) could more easily come into our world. Many scholars see the aos sí as remnants of the pagan gods and nature spirits. At Samhain, it was believed that the aos sí needed to be propitiated to ensure that the people and their livestock survived the harsh winter. As such, offerings of food and drink were left for the aos sí. Playing pranks at Samhain is recorded in the Scottish Highlands as far back as 1736 and was also common in Ireland, which led to Samhain being nicknamed "Mischief Night" in some parts. Trick-or-treating may have come from the custom of going door-to-door collecting food for Samhain feasts, fuel for Samhain bonfires and/or offerings for the aos sí. Alternatively, it may have come from the All Saints/All Souls custom of collecting soul cakes.

(source: Wikipedia)


No trick-or-treaters at our house tonight... but I was ready!

"As the darkness now draws near, see the cycle of the year.
As the light now goes within, let the Hallows Dance begin."

BOO!

Plenty Of Love To Go Around

a post on Facebook about a senior cat needing a home 

Bailey likes bird-watching

turned out there were two of them - 13 years old  and headed to a shelter - they'd been living in the owner's finished basement and the young mother of two felt guilty about not spending more time with them

after talking to my husband, I told the owner to "Bring 'em both"

the tuxedo cat is Bailey - the fluffy one is Tyler

Tyler is silly and sweet

my cats are bewildered, but are trying to make the best of it, I give them extra love to make up for bringing in two strangers

Copper and Silver are little heroes

the new cats are making themselves right at home, even though Bailey sometimes cries plaintively for no reason

Tyler likes to play with toys and sit in the window

my husband, although supportive, had his doubts...

but in the end he told me, "I know you feel strongly about this. You have a big heart. It's something I love about you."

so we have two more mouths to feed

yeah... ain't love grand?

Learning to Meditate: My New Drug of Choice

If someone had told me that meditation was a miracle drug, I would have laughed out loud. Yes, I know it helps one to relax, maybe even lowers blood pressure, and definitely promotes mindfulness. But I decided to make a serious attempt at it to find relief from some new aches and pains and for the past three days the results have been nothing short of amazing.

Illustration by Arthur Rackham

You see, I was experiencing some lower back pain, and... no, let me go further back... This year, I've been dealing with a new dis-ease, severe psoriasis, and I thought perhaps it had developed into psoriatic arthritis. In addition to switching to a more anti-inflammatory diet, I rationalized, I'd better also pay attention to my posture; and maybe my bed was too soft, or too hard; and I probably needed to wear shoes with more arch support... 

But then, it went from bad to worse, and now the pain was starting from my rump and going down my left leg to my ankle, and it was excruciating, crippling, debilitating - there were actually times when I could barely walk or bend over. So, I reasoned, my sciatic nerve must be inflamed or pinched or something. But what to do about it? I couldn't see myself resorting to pain pills or surgery... Hot and cold packs? Acupuncture? Yoga? 

So I decided to talk to my body. (This already worked once before, when my knees were giving me trouble.) And the best way to do that was to sit quietly, with a quartz crystal in my hand (this particular one is a Herkimer diamond quartz cluster), and meditate while calling upon the Reiki symbols to help seal the deal. The first day, I sat on the edge of the bed, feet on the floor, spine aligned and closed my eyes. Breathing slowly and deeply, I began by clearing my mind and then I said, "I'm really sorry. I love you."

After a few minutes of breathing and thinking only of how much I loved my body and everything it had ever done for me, I felt the pain slowly leave.  The rest of the day, I felt no more pain. It came back, of course, but not as intense. The second day, I did the same thing, with the same result: No more pain.

And today, after I said "I love you, I'm sorry," I thanked every part of my body I could think of: skin, brain, bones, kidneys, liver, spleen, lungs, heart, hair, eyes, nose, mouth, tongue, blood, bladder, pancreas, muscles, tendons... and my eyes filled with tears... And, once again, no pain. I even thanked the pain, for teaching me about self-love and gratitude and making amends.

Later, driving in my car, listening to a CD and singing along, bobbing my head to the beat, I felt joy, I felt happy, I felt good. Why? Because I felt like me again. I am intense. I am strong. And I am probably the most optimistic pessimist you'll ever meet. 

As we age, we still have lessons to learn, and we're never too old to learn them. Today I learned to tap into my inner resources, go within to go without, express myself without fear, love my life.

Self-love. Healing. Meditation. I highly recommend them.

What's Past Is Past...

An entire year ago,  you may remember, I was desperately seeking Silver, my little five-year-old cat who ran away. The cat carrier fell apart on our arrival back home after visiting the vet to get her inoculations and she bolted, took off for the wooded area behind our house and was gone for exactly seven weeks. At the time, it seemed like seven years being lost in the desert.

The entire time she was missing, I alternated between hope and hopelessness, but I also had to learn to accept the possibility of life without her while vowing to never give up on finding her. I must have looked out the windows a thousand times, like a ghost.
Valuable life lessons were learned, and as I wrote my little messages to put in my "hope chest" (what others might call a prayer or "God" box) that read something like, "Hoping she returns safe and sound" and "Whatever happens is for the greatest good" I was also confident she knew how to take care of herself in the wild. Still, I was constantly consumed by anxiety, grief and fear.

I worried about coyotes and cars and owls and cruel people, but mostly I just missed her rolling on the floor at my feet or jumping up on my lap or seeing her little innocent face looking up at me. And then one evening, quite by happy accident, exactly seven weeks later, she ran past me and stopped when I called out to her. I brought her food and picked her up (she weighed no more than a kitten) and carried her back inside, where she seems quite content to remain.

Her brother, Copper, was such a comfort to me while she was gone, and I think he, too, was relieved when she came home. After all, they are twins (both six years old now), so he must have felt strange being all alone. I think he must have sensed my sorrow and we often took comfort in each other.

During our ordeal, I was supported by my husband, my family and some rock-solid friends. I also read two very helpful books. One was The Secrets of Lost Cats: One Woman, Twenty Posters and a New Understanding of Love by Dr. Nancy Davidson, given to me by my husband. The other, loaned to me by our wonderful village postmaster, was Lost Cat: A True Story of Love, Desperation and GPS Technology by Caroline Paul. Informative and amusing, I highly recommend them both.

Relatively speaking, things are pretty good in my neck of the woods these days. In a world so wracked by uncertainty and doubt, we are all just happy to be together again, bound by love and gratitude and the deep blue sea.

Sweet Sixteen... Or 61 In Dog Years

Way-back machine:  My "singing telegram" days

Yesterday was my birthday. 61 years of living a relatively uneventful life (and I mean that in a good way... and also, I suppose, in a wistful way). Some missed opportunities, to be sure, but also interesting experiences, supportive family and friends, and so many beautiful things to be grateful for... like our wonderful planet.

Snowdrops growing in the gravel

Loving nature as I do, I try to photograph it whenever I can. When spring finally arrived here in New England, all the trees and shrubs exploded with flowers and then leaves, like this one: 

Pink dogwood in a parking lot against a blue, perfect sky

Yesterday, there was a "virtual party" on Facebook, with 50 or 60 people leaving messages and comments that sweetened an already perfect day, as well as dozens of fun photos as we all reminisced about old times. Lots of laughs and a few happy tears. I got a lovely little box of goodies from my mom and brother, a few thoughtful gifts and cards from my husband and friends. One long-time friend sent me a pad of pastel-colored parchment paper; someone else gave me a deck of angel oracle cards; and another person gave me a plant stake that glows at night. Then: A surprise package from someone I've never met (I only know her as a "friend of a friend"). "I asked the sea to wash up a collection for you and this is what I gathered," she wrote. A simple, thoughtful gesture.

Beautiful driftwood, feathers, beach glass and stones from Washington State's coastline

Remember my old car (see previous post) ? Sold it: It's gone. And my messy upstairs art room? I took a car-load of clothes and other things to Goodwill, and there's more bags and boxes in the car... both have given me more space to play with. Now, as I prepare to go back to my summer job, I should have some spare time and room to write, sew, craft, and otherwise rejuvenate my sputtering creative output. That, you see, will be my birthday gift to myself.

A single poppy towers over my dainty foot

So: Happy Birthday To Me... it looks like this could be a wonderful and busy year!