Looking Back, Looking Ahead

As this year makes way for a new one, we look back and ahead - back, to see where we've been and what we've learned; ahead, to make plans and promises to do things better.

Here's what Wikipedia has to say about Janus, the Roman god of endings and beginnings:

In ancient Roman religion and myth, Janus (/ˈdʒeɪnəs/; Latin: Ianus, pronounced [ˈjaː.nus]) is the god of beginnings, gates, transitions, time, doorways,^[1] passages, and endings. He is usually depicted as having two faces, since he looks to the future and to the past. It is conventionally thought that the month of January is named for Janus (Ianuarius),^[2] but according to ancient Roman farmers' almanacs Juno was the tutelary deity of that month.^[3]

Janus presided over the beginning and ending of conflict, and hence war and peace. The doors of his temple were open in time of war, and closed to mark the peace. As a god of transitions, he had functions pertaining to birth and to journeys and exchange, and in his association with Portunus, a similar harbor and gateway god, he was concerned with travelling, trading and shipping.

Janus had no flamen or specialised priest (sacerdos) assigned to him, but the King of the Sacred Rites (rex sacrorum) himself carried out his ceremonies. Janus had a ubiquitous presence in religious ceremonies throughout the year, and was ritually invoked at the beginning of each one, regardless of the main deity honored on any particular occasion.

The ancient Greeks had no equivalent to Janus, whom the Romans claimed as distinctively their own.

We cannot change the past, we can only hope to make the most of the present as we hope to improve the future. I look forward to what's ahead with both dread and hope. 

Happy new year. Let's all do our best to protect our planet and create a better world.

Sticks and Stones... and Words

We have all said things aloud that either endear us to others or serve to cause doubt, pain and confusion. Maybe we don't know what we're talking about, and sometimes we ignore the "think before you speak" adage and utter things we wish we could take back once they've been released, but the impact of words - spoken and written - is quite powerful and cannot be underestimated.

The Free Dictionary offers this definition:

word

n.

1. A sound or a combination of sounds, or its representation in writing 

or printing, that symbolizes and communicates a meaning and may 

consist of a single morpheme or of a combination of morphemes.

2.

a. Something said; an utterance, remark, or comment: May I say a word about that?

b. A command or direction; an order: gave the word to retreat.

c. An assurance or promise; sworn intention: She has kept her word.

d. A verbal signal; a password or watchword.

3. words

a. Discourse or talk; speech: Actions speak louder than words.

b. Music The text of a vocal composition; lyrics.

c. Hostile or angry remarks made back and forth.

4.

a. News: Any word on your promotion?

b. Rumor: Word has it they're divorcing.

the power of love - tjbg - 2016 - using the Silk app

Words are bandied about so freely today - meaningful words, truthful words, deceptive words - on TV, on the radio, in magazines and on social media, and I for one feel so constantly bombarded by the words of others - fueled by ignorance and prejudice, carrying negativity and hidden agendas - that I can no longer turn away from my responsibility to say, simply, "WHAT?" or "I BEG TO DIFFER..." or "LET'S RESEARCH THAT!"

Luke Skywalker: I don't understand how we got by those troops. I thought we were dead.
Obi wan Kenobi: The Force can have a strong influence on the weak-minded.

While some of us are able to express ourselves through the fine arts, most of us rely on words to share our feelings and ideas. Love letters... Books... Graphic novels... Poems... Eulogies... People who cannot express themselves in any positive, constructive way are, in my opinion, emotionally handicapped and trapped in a dark personal hell; a shuttered, shattered world of their own making. 

hearts around the world - tjbg - 2016 - using the Silk app

It makes me want to open a window and let a little light in for them and, if they wish, they can leave it open and breathe some fresh air or close it if they think the air is poisonous and not suitable for their gasping lungs. Not that I know so much, or that I'm right about everything, but I choose to have an open mind and a willingness to learn something new... as long as it is the truth. 

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Excerpt from the poem by Dylan Thomas (copyright poets.org)
https://www.poets.org/poetsorg/poem/do-not-go-gentle-good-night

peaceflower - tjbg - 2016 - using the Silk app

Please, let us not go gentle into that good night... We must rage, rage against the dying of the light.

A Simple Plan

A couple of days have passed since the national election and when I look outside everything looks the same: the trees, some still clinging to their red and yellow leaves that flutter and fall, thanks to a brisk breeze; the sky, blue today, lit by the same golden glow of the sun; the birds, still singing and foraging for food, waiting for me to put more seed out for them; and the hope that today I'll accomplish a few simple goals, like paring down my burdensome clutter, paying a few bills, writing words to heal my soul (besides this blog post), crafting and photographing new jewelry for the Etsy shop, and making time to meditate.

But the world also feels different now... There are things that make me a bit uncomfortable and sad... My mother is no longer alive, we have a new president who worries me, and there is a lot of unrest in the world. Yesterday I saw a Facebook meme that compared two dates: 9/11 and 11/9, calling them the two worst days in America. I wonder...

I realize I don't have much control over any of these things, so all I can do is work on how I feel about them and do what I can to help those less fortunate than myself. And the best way to do that is to write, to create, to process my grief and to let my humanity evolve in a positive way.

The wise Tibetan master, Djwal Khul, said: "At the center of a great tornado is a point of peace... And thus it is with all the storms of life. They lead to peace if you are not a leaf."

And James Allen, in his book As A Man Thinketh, wrote: "Circumstance does not make the man; it reveals him to himself... A particular train of thought persisted in, be it good or bad, cannot fail to produce its results on the character and the circumstances. A man cannot directly choose his circumstances but he can choose his thoughts, and so indirectly, yet surely, shape his circumstances."

There's also this:
"Be not in any way discouraged... if you find the upward way stiff and hard to climb. You are in good company and are not alone." 
D. K.
"Be not afraid of loneliness. The soul that cannot stand alone has naught to give." 
D. K.

 

These words must sustain and guide me as I move forward and try to work toward the best possible outcome for myself and what tiny bit of the world I am connected to. I wish the same for you as well.

That Mother O' Mine

The longer we live, the more we know about death and dying. With each departure, there are new lessons to learn that seem to replace everything you thought you already knew on the subject. Since the age of 20, I've lost my fair share of friends, family members and beloved pets due to illness, traffic accidents and old age. It's something that's shaped and altered my views on life again and again.

Intellectually, I understand that death is a part of life, but when you want to hear their voice or hold their hand and you can't, you just want to turn out the lights, assume the fetal position and cry for hours. And that's okay. Then you have to get up and get things done, whether you're ready or not. In other words, you have to keep on growing up.

My wonderful mother, Winifred, passed away this year, in July - she was 95 years old but, as I kept reminding her, the expiration date on her renewed license fell on her 100th birthday, so I half-expected her to stay with us five more years - and now my brother and I are finally orphans. It's a bitter pill to take.

Here is a heavily edited version of the obituary I wrote for her. It's just the tip of the iceberg that was my mother's life force, which is why I'm attempting to write a book - part memoir, part novel - using excerpts from her journals and my own observations about her and how she impacted our lives. She was the glue that kept us together, and I am lucky to have had her in my life for so long.

Winnie was born and raised in rural Kentucky, experiencing hardship during the Great Depression as an only child and, later on, enjoying the simple comforts of living in a small town.

She earned her teaching degree in Physical Education at a college in her home town before joining the U.S. Navy in 1944 and becoming a WAVE, where she taught English to international naval units - specifically Russian and Chinese sailors - a duty she gladly performed and truly enjoyed.

In 1946, Winnie married the first love of her life, Joel, a talented artist and wartime photographer with the Army Air Corps, and the two shared many adventures in the mountains near Spokane, Wash. and the mansions of Hollywood, Calif. before moving to Sarasota, Fla., where they both attended art school. Dad studied commercial art, while Mom took courses in interior design.

She taught Physical Education for three decades in Florida, returning to her alma mater in Kentucky for her Master’s Degree in Education (that took three full, glorious summers and my brother and I went with her) and taking part in Central Florida’s landmark teachers’ strike in 1968 (the nation’s first) promoting better education for students and better wages for educators.

Her first 25-year marriage ended in divorce and was followed by a second 25-year marriage to A.J., a retired Air Force Major and fun-loving Cajun. She was predeceased by both of them.

Winnie was funny and feisty, and she will be lovingly remembered and greatly missed by her family, former students and steadfast friends.

But the mourning never stops - or, rather, it comes and goes, returning again and again - and I obsessively wonder if the outcome would have been the same if I had done things any differently... It's a constant seesaw of justification and rationalization, and I must go through it to get to where I need to be.

So, I am left with no other recourse than to grieve my mother's passing and honor her life by writing about it as a way to heal my shattered soul. She will live on in my memory and my words, and I hope her children continue to make her proud.

Her grave marker reads: US Navy World War II - Caring Mother Teacher Friend

Happy Trails, mother o' mine, my mother o' mine...

Some Moments With My Muse...

Image: T J B Googins

There's nothing like a day off all by yourself, listening to music, writing (well, typing) an actual letter, doing a little housework, and creating your own movies on your computer with your own photographs and your own videos... Today has been richly satisfying for me (yes, I did do all those things, although I didn't make time to create any jewelry for my Etsy shop or work on uncluttering my upstairs art space), despite my tendency to fret over all the little things in life and thinking about making decisions that would affect my future in a big way. The tug-of-war between doing nothing and doing what feels right can only go on for so long...

Image: Elizabeth Carmel

But, when in doubt, I try to relax and clear my mind. My Muse is always nearby, urging me to dip my outstretched hands in the cool, refreshing waters of my subconscious mind and search for a way to tap into my innermost creativity in order to... Release the Kraken!

Cthulhu - Source: www.loonylabs.com

"Yesterday's the past, tomorrow's the future, but today is a gift. That's why it's called the Present." Bil Keane, cartoonist

Source: http://quotesgram.com/creative-philosophical-quotes/

Well, that's good to know... Let us go forth, then, and create!

Symbolism: The "Green Man"

Image: The Oak King - by Emily Balivet

The Oak King - by Emily Balivet

sym·bol·ism

ˈsimbəˌlizəm/

noun

1. the use of symbols to represent ideas or qualities.

   "he has always believed in the importance of symbolism in garden art"

   • symbolic meaning attributed to natural objects or facts.

     "the old-fashioned symbolism of flowers"
   • an artistic and poetic movement or style using symbolic images and indirect suggestion to express mystical ideas, emotions, and states of mind. It originated in late 19th century France and Belgium, with important figures including Mallarmé, Maeterlinck, Verlaine, Rimbaud, and Redon.

Right now, as we watch winter waning in deference to the sensuality of spring, we would do well to remember that the seasons speak to us constantly and clearly - as they do to all creatures of the Earth - cajoling us with mysterious, subtle hints of adventure and new life, with lush promises of budding beauty and warmth, as if to say,"It's time to rise up, to reach out, to revel and embrace new beginnings."

Hawk waiting for a chipmunk to appear - photo by TJBG 2015

Symbolism in the natural world abounds throughout the year, but for me it is even more abundant during seasonal changes, like now. I see geese returning to New England, wild turkeys crossing back roads, forests of trees just waiting for their leaves to awaken and be born anew.

Tree at Dusk - photo by TJBG 2016

A forest can be a beautiful, meditative place (in a quiet, almost eerie kind of way) but it was not always so. Back when trees covered much more acreage than they do now, people were reluctant to venture into dark, seemingly impenetrable forests, not only for fear of being attacked by predators but fearing the hidden menace of vengeful gods and goddesses, demons and dragons, or the unknown beasts and spectral spirits that surely dwelt within.

Trees covered with Spanish moss - Florida - altered HipstaMatic photo by TJBG 2015

As I have written before, my favorite spiritual amalgam is the Green Man: a mythical creature combining both human and botanical qualities, usually depicted as a man with leaves sprouting from his head and/or body. His image has been immortalized for centuries with carved effigies in churches and other buildings all over Europe and elsewhere, but his importance within the pantheon of pagan deities has neither been known or understood. Was he a fantasy or based on something real? Was he pagan or Christian, or a combination? What was his story? What does he represent? 

One of 500 Green Man carvings in Scotland's Rosslyn Chapel - BBC News

Perhaps he symbolizes the Tree of Life, or maybe he's the connection between mankind and Nature, as defined by animism. Either way, organized religion incorporated many pagan elements, like Green Man, into their ideologies as a way to indoctrinate more people, using fear and reverence as bait. He could be the elusive Wild Man, or Bigfoot, or an "ancient alien" who visited our planet thousands of years ago - right? There is no legend or fable to explain his existence, and no reason for him to still have any relevance today, and yet... Climate change, environmentalism and the growing green movement indicates that the spirit of the Green Man is alive and well. 

My personal Green Man (plaster relief) photo by TJBG 2016

Having recently read an intriguing article that ran in the New Yorker magazine (The Remarkable Persistence of The Green Man, by Josephine Livingstone - March 7, 2016 - see link below), I was moved once more to share my Green Man "creature crush." I know he is waiting patiently for me outside, telling me spring is near, urging me to dance with him, barefoot, on the grass.

http://www.newyorker.com/books/page-turner/the-remarkable-persistence-of-the-green-man

New Year, New Focus

It's easy to say, "I'm gonna make some changes this year... This year is gonna be better than the last... This year, things are gonna be great..." but making that happen is something else entirely

Each year presents a new set of possibilities, a different set of priorities, a totally clean slate - how do we prepare ourselves to make changes? Make a to-do list? Create a personal inventory? 

The word "inventory" - meaning "a detailed list of all the items on hand" and only slightly related to the word "invent," which means "fictional, made-up, imaginary" - implies that we need to take stock of what our assets are, but is it necessary to make a new list each time? Review any new assets, new challenges, new opportunities? Is there a way to reinvent ourselves so we don't have to keep doing it over and over again?

There will be dark days ahead. There will be choices and milestones. There will be joy. My main objectives this year are to help my family, find personal freedom, and be of service to those in need. I will write. I will find creative focus. I will do good in the world.

I suppose it's up to us as to whether or not we are willing to risk going into the unknown, to push ourselves, try new things, open old wounds and expose ourselves to the world, attempt to fix mistakes and make things better - but is this just another distraction to keep us from finding true inner peace and living happier lives? If life is a bowl of cherries, why are there so many pits?

There will always be obstacles in our way, but sometimes we just have to swim upstream anyway; we really need to try to live up to our ideals, be honest, do the right thing. It isn't just enough to take stock of ourselves... When we feel compelled to look up at the stars, surely we can also find a way to look within ourselves, see our soul's worth and make the most of what little time we have

Seek your soul. Introduce yourself, shake hands and step into the light - here's to making it count